Parenting

I hate being the parent some times.

It's just tough.

As I sit here watching this show, "America's Supernanny" I am in awe. I see a child so out of control and my heart breaks for these parents. I have a son with ADD and it is soooo hard some times. I know how this mom feels. How horrible she felt in the beginning because she didn't know if it was the medicine not working or the ADHD. Because she loves her children.

I know mom.

I love my kids too.

But I was just like you. I tried to be the nice mom. I tried to be the one to say, "please do ...." I tried to be the nice one and not be the "Hitler" parent. Granted, my son never was disrespectful enough to tell me to die, but we had our own set of issues. We've been through it as well.

After years of medication and behavioral therapy, we're finally in a place of happy medium most days. We still have off days. He gets upset and so do I. Some days I fly off the handle and I shouldn't. Some days I raise my voice and I feel badly for it. But I am human and I make mistakes. For the most part though, we're all happy.

Through all this, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned I am stronger than I ever thought. I've learned it's okay to be the "director" and not the "friend". That was the hardest for me to learn. Because you see, I grew up with "Hitler". If it was to be done, it was to be done 5 minutes ago. I didn't want to raise my kids that way. I didn't want my children to be scared of me. But that's where I made the mistake. It wasn't fear they needed, but respect for me. For me as an adult and as their parent. And even though as a child I didn't like being told what to do and having such a demanding father, I understand now how important that was at the time. I respected my parents (I didn't say I was perfect). And now I respect them even more. I've realized how hard raising children really is.

I think I turned out okay.

I pray to God every day to make me a better mother. Make me more patient. Let me give them the guidance I should in a Christian way.

Best of luck moms!!! Stay strong!!!