My dad.....just a little late

My dad....where do I begin. I mean really, he's the man that made me a woman, genetically speaking. Hahaha....

But in all seriousness, I am very grateful for the father I've had all my life. And although I was not a perfect child, and he wasn't the perfect father, we've managed to grow up well :) Although I look like my mom, I am very much my father.

I'm grateful for the man that knelt beside me to pray when my mom had my sister. I will never forget the hard wood floors.

For the man who made a tire swing in the back yard for my sister and I to play in as kids. I think that was the best swing EVER!!

For taking me camping and fishing all the time growing up. I will never forget those early mornings, sitting on the boat, and watching Gidget swim halfway across the lake to join us.

For "teaching" me to swim at Cooper's Lake. Otherwise known as, "I'm throwing you and good luck" hehehe..... and for holding me tightly the day those boys drowned. I, only now having children of my own, can imagine the pain those parents felt that day.

For driving the bus on many LONG trips and chaperoning our youth trips. What an example you set for all of the kids I grew up with.

For holding me ever so tightly when Chris broke my heart the very first time. As I sat crying in my room, listening to the tape play a certain song over and over, you came in and just held me. There was nothing you could do, but give me the love that only a father can.

For the time you walked me back to my room at Glorieta and had to stop half way to throw up. It was so not fair for me to have to choose one parent to take with me in to town. I really wanted both of you to go with me because I was so scared.

For walking me down the aisle, not once, but twice. I had hoped the first would always be the last, but even when it didn't work that way, you supported me.....in more ways than one.

For being there when my kids were born. There is nothing like bringing a child in to this world and having my parents to see them from the very beginning.

Dad, I know I don't always say it nearly enough, but I love you. Just know that I can't imagine what life I would have had if you hadn't been my dad.

Happy (belated) Father's Day

Love you much,
Renee

so many things

You know, it's so hard for me to point out just one thing today for which I am grateful.

So today, it's a list:

For my husband who trains so hard and does his best at every race. I know this weekend after his race, his legs were so sore. But he pushed on and walked around with us and even went to the aquarium with us when his feet were just about to give way. I am so glad we did it though and had some great family time.

For Ryan, my older son. Every day is different with him. I never know where is brain is going to take me. I love watching him build things with his legos that he has collected. I am amazed at how he puts things he has imagined into a piece of art with Legos. WOW! I am so grateful he is also beginning to understand Christianity and the fact Jesus died on the cross for our sins. My heart just feels happy when I feel like he "gets it"

For Alexander, my little man. Words can't express the joy he brings to our lives. His laugh is contagious and his snuggles are priceless. Even though I had to cart him around Gatlinburg this week end a good bit, I wouldn't trade it for the world. And tonight as he wanted to wash dishes a song came on my iPod, "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift. This song talks about being little and parents not wanting you to grow up. "Oh, darling don't you ever grow up.....just stay this little....won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart" Alexander turned to me and said, "that's what you say to us mommy"

And it's true. As much as I loved the baby stage, I am loving each stage of my boys' lives. It saddens me to think that Alexander will begin kindergarten in the fall of 2013 and Ryan will be in 3rd grade this year. But each age has it's own challenges and things to enjoy.

For my ability to work out. This weekend I saw so many overweight people walking around and it just broke my heart. It's not easy to get in to shape. I am the perfect example. But I did and now I can't imagine my life without being in the gym and working out every day. (PS, I'm now looking in to hip hop hustle training, woot woot)

And basically for my life and opportunity I have to live it. I pray each day that I will make an impact on some one in a positive way. I love being me. God gave me one life and one chance to live it. I'm trying my hardest to use it to the fullest extent.

What are you grateful for today?

Renee

Joy = Energy

I've had a lot of people lately ask me, "Where do you get your energy?" I don't really know how to respond to that question. I don't feel like I have any more energy than most people. I guess it's just the way my energy is perceived. But this really got me to thinking about things.

Today I was driving down Richmond Road, windows down, music blaring, and enjoying the breeze. I was playing a song by Phillips, Craig, and Dean that is one of my all time favorites..."Let My Words Be Few"




And then it hit me. It's like God said, "hello!!!! It's me that gives you that energy". And it's true.

My faith is a huge part of my life. For years I tried to live my life the way I wanted. Some things were good and some weren't. But then it was as if a lightbulb was turned on above my head. Giving it ALL to the one who truly gives me life. Giving my life, my thoughts, my love, my everything. I know people may think I'm crazy, but I have a blessed life. A life that has been blessed by God in so many ways, in the past and present.

And from that I have JOY.

I have something that fills my heart and my life like none other. This is something that can't be replaced with anything on this earth. And I know that my time on earth is fleeting. I mean really. Think about it. Our life is but a second compared to the eternity we have to look forward to in heaven. I guess it's just that I want to live my life in a way that the dash between the years of my birth and death are happy. I want others to be as happy as I am. I surround myself with positivity and meet people where they are in their life. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have my faults. I say things sometimes that are not appropriate, but one there's one thing I know for sure. God knows, understands, and I am able to ask his forgiveness.

He fills my nights and days with joy and peace that makes my heart happy.

I am blessed to be awakened to each day and attack it as if it were my last.

I smile because there may be one person that just needs that in their life that day. Who's to say what others are going through.

So I guess what this boils down to is my JOY = ENERGY! It's positive energy given to me by my God in Heaven.

Thank you God for giving me the life, joy, and energy it takes to live each day to the fullest. I am forever grateful.

Blessings, Renee

Mom-A Day Late

Because of work schedule of both myself and Mike, I wasn't able to sit down for my mother's day post until now. So here goes...

To the woman, who after many hours of labor, delivered me (with the use of forceps, BTW). A ginormous 8# 14oz, 19 1/2 long baby. An alien to my mother and the ugliest thing she had ever seen. I must have been beautiful though because the nurses said I was (and we nurses know not all babies are born beautiful......)

To the woman who dropped me off at a horrible preschool when she was in labor with my sister (that place I will NEVER forget)

For the times you picked me up, dusted away the dirt, and covered the scar with a band-aid.

For the time I was almost hit by a car riding a bike when we lived in Forest (yes, another thing I will never forget).

For all the days and weeks of making me write my spelling words 10 times each so I would make 100% on my spelling test.

For transforming an old player piano in to one I could play :)

For buying my silver, open-holed Gemeinhardt flute so I could be in concert band.

For making all of my prom dresses throughout the years. And although I wasn't like everyone else, I was truly special because my mom CARED!

For staying up late many nights helping me type a paper when I thought I had plenty of time. You knew better, but wanted me to learn on my own.

For supporting me through the years and with my first marriage and divorce. So much happened, but you were always there.

For being at the birth of both of my boys.....that means more to me than you could ever imagine.

For the woman who helped make me who I am today. Who taught me things, continually inspires me, and encourages me to do whatever I want.

I am blessed beyond measure to have such a wonderful mom. And even with the hoopla surrounding being "mom enough", she was MORE! If I can only be half the mom to my boys that she is to me, I will be forever thankful.

Thank you God for such a wonderful woman. I am truly blessed.

Renee

WOW

Earlier this week I posted on facebook about teaching one class, then turning around and teaching another. I've done that on a few occasions because it just worked out that way. But here's the thing...I don't type those things on social media to get a response from people.

You see, 2 years ago I was over 200 pounds. When I stepped on the scales at Weight Watchers I was mortified. I knew I had gained weight, but little did I know just how much. I wanted to cry and scream, but knew the only person to blame was myself. WOW! To admit I was a fault was a big deal to me. I started slowly, but little by little the pounds came off.

I became a regular at Urban Active (where I now teach). I remember being so scared to even walk in the gym. I was a fat girl trying to lose weight. My arms were flabby and my thighs....well, we won't even talk about that. I started taking group fitness classes because I've learned over the years, when I'm in a group setting, I push harder to do well. I don't have the will power it takes to spend an hour on an elliptical machine, nor do I want to. In the middle of many of those classes I just wanted to die. Literally thought I might just throw up and pass out. But I persevered. I pushed myself and MADE myself change. I MADE myself go to the gym. I MADE myself like it. The more I went, the more it became a part of me. Strange to say, but even within about 6 months I felt like I wasn't myself if I wasn't at the gym. It was that December (2010) that I became a licensed Zumba Fitness instructor. Oh.My.Goodness. I was so excited to have the ability to teach, but scared at the same time. Would I be accepted? Rejected? Did I really have what it took to do this? Taking classes and teaching are so different. The personality and presentation has to be there along with the moves and confidence. Thankfully Melissa and Carey (group x directors at Urban Active) worked with me and helped me learn to "teach". Within a few months I had my own class and then started training for other things (Urban Iron weightlifting for one). It took me a good 6-8 months to feel comfortable with who I was in this respect and to embrace it all. Since then I have become certified in Turbo Kick (kickboxing) and am going through Kickboxing training at Urban Active.

But here I am 2 years later.

I am still a work in progress.

I am still learning.

I have cardiovascular endurance and muscles I haven't seen in 20 years (no joke).

I walk confidently and upright and wear shirts without sleeves.

That is why I post the things I post. Not for response, but because of where I've been and where I am today.

It's amazing the difference two years can make. So don't give up on your dreams just because you think you can't. Because really, YOU CAN! I did, and for that I am truly grateful. Grateful to family, friends, and the God who gives me life and never gives up on me! If he doesn't give up on us, why should we give up on ourselves?

Start today and take a step. A step towards fitness and being healthy :)

Renee

one day

Today marks the one year anniversary of the death of a friend's father. It was very unexpected. It happened during a tornado warning while they were in the basement. Her mom had run upstairs to get something and when she returned he was gone. Less than 5 minutes and God had called him home.

Life is so full of unexpected events. God has said no one knows what the next moment holds. And that truth rings true all the time.

So many times we see a life cut short because of some crazy circumstance no one ever imagined. We've had a few lately of young people killed while driving. One that wasn't wearing her seat belt. Such a senseless way to die. But you know, it really doesn't matter. We all have an appointed time to die......we just don't know when.

Today at Church they sang the song "Be O.K." by Ingrid Michaelson. I've been a fan of hers for some time and really do love the song. It talks about just being okay today. Being okay with who you are and what's happening in your life. I feel like that's the way I try to live my life. Just be okay. I'm alright that I'm still a work in progress. I'm okay with what God has given me......there are many people who have and live with way less. I'm okay with today, because one day, there won't be a me. One of those unexpected events may come my way. Not that I'm ready to die or leave my family, but in the event, at least I know where I am going when my time comes. I know that one day I will be in a place of complete healing. No more pain or sorrow, no more deception and hatred. I will see people who have passed long before me. Some days I think about that and am overwhelmed at the thought of how good and perfect Heaven will be for me.

And I know not everyone believes this, but just think about it. Would you rather spend an eternity in perfection or doomed to a fiery hell? This sounds like a no brainer to me. Think about your one day when you leave this earth.

Be okay today with what you have and don't live like the person you aren't. Let people remember you for who you really are and not what people thought you were.

Be a blessing to someone today. Live as though it's your last.

Renee

friends and beautiful days

Today I am grateful for the beautiful days we have had and the opportunity to spend it with friends.

I met Michelle and her three kiddos for a lunch and afternoon at the park. And although the kids got tired, hot, and fussy.....and let's face it so did Michelle and myself, we still had a good time. It's amazing how even though we haven't seen each other since Christmas, we picked up just like we talk every day.

The kids have grown so much and we loved watching them play. Alex ran until his heart was content. Even when we came home, we still stayed outside for him to kick his ball and ride his bike. Thank heavens for sunscreen, because his fair little skin definitely needed it on this 85 degree day. Can you believe it? 85 degrees in April!!!!! (That makes me so excited to think we will get out of school on time this year!!!!)

So, thank you God for the time I got to spend with my friend. We are not promised tomorrow, so I'm glad we chose to do this today.

Hope you are having a blessed day as well,

Renee